Ignorance is not always bliss


Bringing up boys is definetely an adventure and if you've had the privilege and challenge of raising boys, you'll be able to understand alot of what I say in this post. Over the last few years, and especially the last few months my eyes of really been opened to the amount of ignorance and judgement floating around out there in relation to the world of boys. I have 2 boys and they are 4 and 6 years old. They are bundles of energy and can often be found lapping the main floor of my house. They can be found jumping on my furniture seconds after they have been told to get off. The wrestle and physically fight from a young age. Fifteen minutes after they eat a large supper they are asking for more food... as if they haven't eaten a single morsel all day. I call them machines somedays. I have to physically touch them to get their attention and to ensure they are listening to me. They have an extremely hard time sitting still and maintaining eye contact when being talked to. They are loud and sound effects are common to our ears around here while my boys play..... Sound like anyone you know?... the greatest challenge may be just keeping them alive through childhood and adolescence. I say all this to say that all I have talked about are natural tendencies for boys and certainly not related to being undisciplined or unruly. Boys are designed to be more assertive, audacious and excitable than girls are. Now I'd like to talk about my son M. He is a strong willed boy and yet extremely well disciplined. He was taught about manners and respect and about using his hands to help not to hurt. He has been taught not to use potty humour. He has been taught to share and help others... etc. etc. do you understand what I am getting at? And yet we have been exhausted over the last couple years with behavioural issues and social situations. Alot of all this is normal in the world of boys and yet over the last 6 months we have sensed something more was at play. Actually we have sensed something was off for a couple years with his behaviour. Over time consistent teaching and discipline should start to correct behaviours but with M things were getting worse,specifically at school in the morning. Lots of phone calls from the principals office. Well to make a long story short, we finally got into see a pediatrician. And to our surprise, he suggested Malachi may be struggling with a mild form of autism (lots of testing to be done before he has an official diagnosis). As a parent you know that if you suspect something you are the first to start researching and gathering as much information as you can.... and people many well meaning people will always have an opinion or say something really stupid and ignorant.... but you have to get past that and equip yourself with reliable sources for knowledge. I have to tell you since it has been suggested that autism may be the issue, light bulbs have been going on everywhere. But for a time I find myself angry. Angry at the things that have been said about M and to M by children and adults alike, even in my own family and church family. Angry at the judgement towards our parenting because of such great ignorance. I digress to go any furthur. M is an incredibly sweet boy and he is full of reckless abandon and he will do great things! He is extremely intelligent for his age. He feels emotion with great intensity and is majorly misunderstood in social circles. He desires to be included with friends just like everyone else but finds social situations difficult. He is highly energetic and loves sports. He is surprisingly gentle towards animals.... I could go on. At the moment we mostly relieved that we are getting explanations and answers in order to get M the help he needs, especially in the public school system. I am tired and may continue this post at a later date :-)

Wednesday, March 16, 2011 at 8:54 PM , 1 Comment

Giving!


ONE of my higher love languages is called gifts- I enjoy both giving them and recieving them :-) But don’t mistake this love language for materialism; I thrive on love, thoughtfullness and effort behind a gift- it is simply a tangible way for me to show and recieve love. For me the perfect gift/gesture shows that I am known, cared for, and cherished- it's all about the thought behind it. Now that being said, I'd like to talk a bit about Christmas giving. Presents don't need to be expensive to send a powerful message of love- they can be created! Now if I am being brutally honest I would have to admit that I have some pretty expensive (I prefer to call it "fine") taste.... I know, I know it's shocking! lol... yet my favourite gifts from my husband and kids have been songs, poems, jewellery and pictures they have created for me from the heart and cost very little to no money.
Please do not put gifts you cannot afford on credit cards- I am confident that most people would feel awful knowing they were given something that wasn't even payed for yet. For some giving gifts at Christmas becomes almost mechanical,a chore or even a feeling of obligation....if this happens, it is worth stepping aside for a few moments to consider why exactly you give gifts at Christmas. It shouldn't be a stressful and miserable thing.
The art of giving is really knowing the love language of your loved one and giving based on that. Happy hunting and creating!

Monday, December 13, 2010 at 5:47 PM , 1 Comment

So not everything in my life is happy and fuzzy...



It's just past the middle of October and up until a few days ago both Vince and I were under the belief that Malachi's social skills and behaviour had improved from last year. We had recently talked about how he seems to have matured and we were happy that all our hard work, discipline and advocating for his needs had payed off.... BUT I finally got a long message on my answering machine a couple days ago from Malachi's SK teacher saying that he had been pushing and hitting increasingly and that he is incredibly smart but is almost entirely lacking in social skills and seemingly is unaware of how to act appropriately with his peers. I was deeply disappointed when I heard the message but I booked a meeting with Malachi's teacher this coming Monday. I thought we'll beat this and find out what his triggers are and how we can help Malachi to get past this. Then today I dropped Malachi off at speech and took the teacher aside to ask if she was experiencing any behaviour or social issues and she immediately responded yes! She went on to tell me about some things that were happening and my heart sunk entirely! I got in the van and cried. Of course I did what was natural, I started blaming myself- trying to figure out where I have gone wrong. Vince came home today and told me that Malachi's teacher had called him on his cell phone- she mentioned that they had concerns from a couple parents and even the bus driver is having issues with him. She said things had gotten worse since she last talked to me a couple days ago. We are exhausted with everything we are doing to advocate for his needs, for his speech therapy and finding solutions.
This is just the short version about what is on my mind today and what I am dealing with. I am going to sit in and observe Malachi in the classroom tomorrow and probably a few days next week to get a glimpse of what is going on with him.

Thursday, October 21, 2010 at 8:47 PM , 2 Comments

Marriage is No Ordinary Relationship!


Often we think of marriage as a romantic fantasy where we will live happily ever after and life will be easy all because we are in loooovvvveee.....*smiling and batting eyes* :-) Well if your bubble hasn't burst yet- let me be the one to burst it for you! lol

Vince and I are coming up to our 11th year of marriage this November, so we aren't newly weds but we aren't veterans either in this adventure called marriage, we know that we haven't arrived :-) Having said this, I do believe this is an area where we are ahead of our time- I'm not saying everything is perfect but that we understand the marriage covenant and we understood early on that love isn't based on feelings but it is a choice. We married very young- we were both 21 but we knew we were best friends no matter what. We became best friends BEFORE we started dating and I believe that was vital to the strength of our relationship. I'll share a few other reasons why I believe our marriage is still going strong.

1) God is the head of our marriage- "By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; and by knowledge the rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures." (Proverbs 24:3-4)

2) We never go to bed angry- we work through our problems with intentionality and determination and perseverance- confront them head on! Divorce is not an option!

3) We forgive each other- it is human nature to make mistakes and there will be many times when we need to forgive- forgiveness is ACTIVE! it will leave you with peace and joy in your marriage life

4) Communicate!! we talk clearly and listen well, it results in knowing and being known
Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

5) LOVE!! -in our society love is so fleeting, the word has been warped and greatly misused over time- but the true meaning of love encompasses so many things!
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love Never Fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

6) sexual intimacy- let me just say we are healthy in this area :-) but let me say this;
Pornography- the devil comes to kill, steal and destroy your marriage in the form of seduction. This is one of the most insidious attacks upon the sanctity of marriage. I don't believe it strengthens marriages but destroys it through perversion- your spouse then becomes not good enough. That isn't love. (I have tons more to say on this subject but I'll digress....)

7)FUN! Without it comes boredom- make it happen! I love spending time with Vince :-)

I have lots more to share but I'll leave it here for today :-)

What is the strongest area of your marriage??

Monday, September 27, 2010 at 6:04 PM , 3 Comments

Unstoppable


So before becoming a baby machine and spending the last 8 1/2 years as a stay at home mother, I was a personal fitness trainer. Everyone has something that they have the potential to be incredible at doing- and personal training/fitness is that for me- I call it "in my zone". It is the one area that I was the professional and a leader in the making. I led the learn to run clinic and developed and implemented personal fitness programming for women- it was very fullfilling. Children change everything don't they? Once I had Kayla- I quickly realized I wanted to be at home with her full time. So I gave up my career for a season. Along came Malachi and then Colin and here I am.... after 3 pregnancies and quite a few years later and I am 55 Ibs heavier
and very much out of shape. All my certifications are null- you have to keep them up on a yearly basis to maintain your credentials. So it may seem depressing at times when I think about it, one thing I do know is my determination is rising up again. It's time to take care of myself and get back into shape. With my youngest going to kindergarten in September, I am actually going to have some free time on a daily basis and I am extremely excited to get back to the gym. I'd like to record my journey on here and maybe some pictures if I'm brave to show my progress. I'll try to be candid about my feelings because I think it's important to be aware of how emotions play a part- I'll blog about that can of worms sometime in the near future as well. Keep an eye out for my first workout related post in September :-) What do you consider is your zone?

Thursday, July 22, 2010 at 7:15 PM , 0 Comments

Thursday Thirteen!

13 everyday little happenings that colour me happy!



1) a hot shower finally at 3 in the afternoon

2) a clean pair of underwear!

3) first coffee of the day

4) a good teethbrushin'

5) smooth shaven legs and pits!!

6) homemade love letters/art from my kids (with a kid like Kayla, I get something almost everyday <3)

7) trimmed toenails and fingernails

8) sitting on the back porch soaking up the sunshine

9) smooches and bear hugs from my boys!

10) reading and cuddling with all 3 of my kiddoes for bedtime

11) smell of fresh clean laundry (I use shaklee detergent and it smells sooooo good!)

12) fruit/yogurt/granola parfait for breakfast

13) last but not least- a phone call or mail from family and friends (few and far between!)

Wednesday, April 21, 2010 at 8:22 AM , 3 Comments

It's Time for a Party!


Ultimate Blog Party 2010


Hey everyone, this will be my first time participating in the Ultimate Blog Party!! It is being put on by the lovely ladies at 5 Minutes for Mom. My friends at Shasher's Life and Mom's Musings talked about it so much, that I wanted to join in!!

I'll be serving chocolate and strawberry dacquiri's! Cheers!

Tidbits about me.....

-Love sports and outdoors- running, swimming, biking, white water kayaking and many more :-)

-I am a stay at home mom, so blogging is like a lifeline!! lol

-a serious chocolate addict. I've thought about giving up chocolate, but I'm not a quitter.

-don't consider myself to be a crafty women- but I do enjoy cardmaking and scrapbooking, as well I am am quite the shutterbug

-I am highly relational, hence the blog (and facebook too!)

- actually considering homeschooling- something I said I'd "never" do!

-happily married to my best friend, Vince, for 10 years! and we've been blessed with 3 beautiful children- Kayla (earth) 8, Malachi (fire) 5 and Colin (water) 3

-all about living an organic and chemical free lifestyle

My Zone -I have a passion to empower women to love their bodies through all the stages (mind and body)- I am a personal trainer- I've just been on a looooooooong vacation (9 years!)


I'm looking forward to meeting all sorts of new bloggers!!

There are lots of prizes and here are a few of my choices

USC#13 $100 gift certificate to Kay Jewellers by

USC#17 $200 apple gift certificate (iphone)

USC#48 $25 gift certifciate (just jewellery by Jessica)

USC#10 "lilac" pendant

Monday, April 5, 2010 at 7:12 PM , 29 Comments