Ignorance is not always bliss

Bringing up boys is definetely an adventure and if you've had the privilege and challenge of raising boys, you'll be able to understand alot of what I say in this post. Over the last few years, and especially the last few months my eyes of really been opened to the amount of ignorance and judgement floating around out there in relation to the world of boys. I have 2 boys and they are 4 and 6 years old. They are bundles of energy and can often be found lapping the main floor of my house. They can be found jumping on my furniture seconds after they have been told to get off. The wrestle and physically fight from a young age. Fifteen minutes after they eat a large supper they are asking for more food... as if they haven't eaten a single morsel all day. I call them machines somedays. I have to physically touch them to get their attention and to ensure they are listening to me. They have an extremely hard time sitting still and maintaining eye contact when being talked to. They are loud and sound effects are common to our ears around here while my boys play..... Sound like anyone you know?... the greatest challenge may be just keeping them alive through childhood and adolescence. I say all this to say that all I have talked about are natural tendencies for boys and certainly not related to being undisciplined or unruly. Boys are designed to be more assertive, audacious and excitable than girls are. Now I'd like to talk about my son M. He is a strong willed boy and yet extremely well disciplined. He was taught about manners and respect and about using his hands to help not to hurt. He has been taught not to use potty humour. He has been taught to share and help others... etc. etc. do you understand what I am getting at? And yet we have been exhausted over the last couple years with behavioural issues and social situations. Alot of all this is normal in the world of boys and yet over the last 6 months we have sensed something more was at play. Actually we have sensed something was off for a couple years with his behaviour. Over time consistent teaching and discipline should start to correct behaviours but with M things were getting worse,specifically at school in the morning. Lots of phone calls from the principals office. Well to make a long story short, we finally got into see a pediatrician. And to our surprise, he suggested Malachi may be struggling with a mild form of autism (lots of testing to be done before he has an official diagnosis). As a parent you know that if you suspect something you are the first to start researching and gathering as much information as you can.... and people many well meaning people will always have an opinion or say something really stupid and ignorant.... but you have to get past that and equip yourself with reliable sources for knowledge. I have to tell you since it has been suggested that autism may be the issue, light bulbs have been going on everywhere. But for a time I find myself angry. Angry at the things that have been said about M and to M by children and adults alike, even in my own family and church family. Angry at the judgement towards our parenting because of such great ignorance. I digress to go any furthur. M is an incredibly sweet boy and he is full of reckless abandon and he will do great things! He is extremely intelligent for his age. He feels emotion with great intensity and is majorly misunderstood in social circles. He desires to be included with friends just like everyone else but finds social situations difficult. He is highly energetic and loves sports. He is surprisingly gentle towards animals.... I could go on. At the moment we mostly relieved that we are getting explanations and answers in order to get M the help he needs, especially in the public school system. I am tired and may continue this post at a later date :-)

Wednesday, March 16, 2011 at 8:54 PM , 1 Comment