Fire, Earth and Water

HAPPY 8th BIRTHDAY to my Malachi!!!
I am still in disbelief that my first born son is already 8, even if he doesn't look it.... sorry Malachi you got your mommas short genes! I am so in love with this boy and increasingly proud of him. This year has been another great year in school, his teacher has reported that his social skills have increased tremendously since september and that everyone in the class loves him (this is the first time hearing that!). She said he has proved to be an exciting catalyst for learning and academically he is thriving. To hear such positive things for the second year in a row makes this mommas heart smile. We have seen him really mature at home and his sweet side is growing more and more. He wants to help ALOT more! He loves helping empty the grocery bags, loves to bake and shows initiative (ex making his brother breakfast) :-) His favourite thing to do is still games- board games, video games, sports games.... games, games, games!! His favourite toy is still his starwars lego sets, he loves to build. Strong-willed, high energy, loyal, thoughtful, perceptive, tenacious, bizarre sense of humour, perfectionist, independent, competitive, determined are just a few words the describe Malachi. He has a colourful personality and brings great joy and humour to our family. Love you Kai! xoxo

I came across this and really liked it, so I personalized it into a vision for my family and posted it on a wall in my home for the reminders I know we will all need from time to time.


Our Grace-Based Home

"See to it that no one misses the Grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many" Hebrews 12:15

1) freedom to be different

2) freedom to be vunerable (no matter what we will listen and honor each others feelings)

3) freedom to be candid (we can talk, question, express, share without negative backlash)

4) freedom to make mistakes (no matter what you do, we will never look down on each other and never turn our backs on one another)

Shortly after the hustle and bustle of Christmas and New Years, we celebrate 2 birthdays in our family back to back (after Malachi was born, I informed Vince he was officially cut off for all the months of April). On Friday Malachi is turning 7 years old and on Saturday Kayla is celebrating her first decade/double digits....WOWZERS!! I still can't believe she is turning 10!! We are celebrating as a family tomorrow night making homemade pizzas and then Vince and I will be their servers... any ideas for a restaurant name? We will of course enjoy cake and presents... and maybe a movie night or some sledding depending on if we have enough snow :-) I usually postpone their friend birthday parties until the end of January for obvious reasons.
Kayla will be going to The Art Studios in Waterloo with a bunch of giggly girls and make some kind of clay art, she has been talking about it for months!.
This has been a significant year for Malachi since he has developed some great friendships, so we are going to celebrate... just haven't decided what we are doing just yet. Not only that but the kids are going to go on a mini vacation with their cousins to an indoor waterpark in about a week... talk about a pretty awesome month for them!!

Talking about my hearing loss is probably one of my least favourite topics to discuss and anyone else who has a hearing loss probably feels the same way but I feel it is time to help others understand what it is like to be me. It was grade 3 when I was diagnosed with a 25% mild bilateral hearing loss,... that explained why I was getting failing marks in school and probably some lack in social development. That is like missing one out of every four words and that makes for some twisted sentences! Lol I do remember speech therapy with a Mr Fox- it was usually cue cards and fun games....I also didnt mind all the hearing tests and I got to miss school :)
I started having to wear around the ear hearing aids for grade 4, I was mortified to say the least. When you are the only kid in your school with a hearing loss and at a new school too- it sucks. I envied other kids, running around the playground and screaming with reckless abandon, completely oblivious to what they had.
I hated my hearing aids so much I believe I purposely sabotaged a couple pairs (aka sticking them in front of the school bus wheels just before hopping on). I didn't like how they felt or how they made my ears stick out. I used to go to the "hear together" conferences in London every year and I really felt out of place because most kids there had much worse hearing losses then I did and they all talked like they had a bunch of teeth all over the roof of their mouth. I didn't connect well with anyone (far as I remember) because I just felt like I could hear just fine. I always had a difficult time just accepting it, it took years before I began to advocate for my needs on my own. I call a mild hearing loss an invisible disability because people don't see it when they look at me even if they've been told, they often forget. I am sure some think I am rude or pushy because I often interrupt conversations but it is just because I don't hear that someone else is talking... I try to read body language and lips but that isn't always successful. I keep a closer reign on my children then most parents probably do but think about what the first sense that we use to gage whether our kids are in trouble? HEARING... so because I can't always hear, and that can be worse depending on the environment, I keep my kids close. I have a much harder time hearing someone who is soft spoken, in fact I pretty much can't hear them at all if I am not aware they are speaking to me. Same with someone who speaks with little voice inflection. Yelling at me is unnecessary, usually I need people to speak with more clarity then anything, or go to a quieter area. My biggest pet peeve has to be when people accuse me of not listening to them- HELLO?!!! and no I don't have selective hearing (well mostly bhahaaha) but seriously- that joke is old. The biggest word of advice for people when they would like to speak to me, is make sure you have my attention and that means I am looking at you :-) The picture above shows how far technology has come and the kind of aid I want to buy next... they run thousands of dollars!

I enjoyed a really sweet, sweet time with my Vince yesterday in Port Stanley. We desperately needed uninterrupted, one on one time with each other and with no expectations to be some where by a certain time :-) If you haven't had a time like this with your other half in a long time, I highly recommend it. We soaked up the sun, collected beach glass/stones for the kids, hiked, swam (the water was icy cold water btw!), and not only that but we were able to have uninterrupted conversation- say WHAT!?- a very rare occurence with 3 young kids vying for our time and attention. We talked about how things have changed (always inevitable) but not all change is good, some has affected our lives negatively and it is healthy to talk those things through so that we can move on and focus on all the positive and wonderful things that have happened in our lives. We shared lots about where we are headed with our family- dreams, priorities, goals and plans for our future. Most of all we had lots of fun!

I am possibly the WORST choice for a housewife, and thankfully Vince married me anyways with that knowledge :-P ( I believe Vince was warned by multiple members of my family about my slobbishness) I'll find ANYTHING to distract me from cleaning and cooking. Organization is probably my biggest weakness or could it be that procrastinating is my biggest strength?! Whatever the case, I know these are things that drive my husband bonkers!! It's a good thing I am a hotshot wife and mother to make up for it :-) It isn't that I sit on my arse all day.... I am actively involved with my kids school, homework, reading, extracurriculars, healthy nutrition/grocery shopping etc.. plus I don't mind mowing the lawn or running errands but I'll have to agree that I lack greatly in time management skills. I am blessed to have an amazing husband who loves me inspite of my inadequacies and yet I am not a fool I know he desires and prays for me to become more domesticated since I am the stay at home parent. I do believe I am S L O W L Y improving on this front, especially because my desire for healthy eating is inspiring me to cook more often- one word= EPICURE... seriously makes it eAsy baby! Vince cannot comprehend how I can function in the midst of chaos but I'll let ya all on a little secret.... I LOVE when the house is organized, clean and smelling fresh *GASP!*... it is just an area that I see the need to improve in (everyone has shortcomings) and anyone who says they prefer chaos is probably lying :-p
Cheers to my Vince for his grace and patience for me!

Do you freely give trust or does it have to be earned?
When it comes to entrusting (to give over to another for care, protection) my children, trust absolutely has to be earned. My children are the most important people in the world to me (including my Vince :). Trusting another person with my children takes consistent, quality time to get to a place where that deep trust is formed. I will be the first to admit that I am overprotective alot of the time, but I would rather ehrr on the side of caution. I personally know too many people, cousins, friends and relatives who have been either physically or sexually abused as children and most by close friends or family. It might not even be that I am concerned about abuse, it may simply be I just don't know someone enough to give them that level of trust. It might be that my gut instincts keep my from ever trusting someone- and I have learned to ALWAYS trust those instincts (not to be confused with fear). I have been described as mother bear or a tenacious bulldog and I agree that they are pretty bang on! I will say this; I come with different history, different experiences, different perception of life, different family etc. that have brought me to this place where I am so highly protective and I won't be manipulated or forced into trusting someone where that trust isn't present. Some people are able to freely give trust and I say good for them :-)
Part of my calling as a parent is to protect these little blessings as I see fit and the level of protection will depend on age, temperment, maturity, environment, etc. K is 9 years old and I have only just started to allow her to walk to school with a friend a couple times per week. I have neighbours who allow their girls 7 and 6 years old to walk to school regularily and I find that waayyyy to young- the walk to school here takes about 20 minutes. I have 4 year old and 6 year old active and curious boys and I believe they still require constant supervision when they are outdoors. Kayla is at an age and maturity level where I trust her to go over to a friends house for a playdate, I don't have to worry so much about her and that is freeing but I don't let her go into a friends home where I haven't gotten to know the parents. The bigger issue for Vince and I are sleepovers and those will be a rare occurence in the lives of our children outside of trusted family members and close friends. Around water is another story, I go into this mode of almost panic,... a totally ridiculous fear, I know but it is defintely there and I am trying to learn how to relax more.... the funny thing is, is that I am an incredibly strong swimmer and if my boys fell in, I'd be in the pool faster then they'd hit the water! Definetely falls in the realm of irrational fears lol... however it is very real and came upon me sometime after I became a mother.

In a perfect world trust would be freely given but just look at the local and world news and you see that it is far from perfect. So I do believe that I need to be tenacious with protecting my children and it is something I won't apologize for.