Fire, Earth and Water

ONE of my higher love languages is called gifts- I enjoy both giving them and recieving them :-) But don’t mistake this love language for materialism; I thrive on love, thoughtfullness and effort behind a gift- it is simply a tangible way for me to show and recieve love. For me the perfect gift/gesture shows that I am known, cared for, and cherished- it's all about the thought behind it. Now that being said, I'd like to talk a bit about Christmas giving. Presents don't need to be expensive to send a powerful message of love- they can be created! Now if I am being brutally honest I would have to admit that I have some pretty expensive (I prefer to call it "fine") taste.... I know, I know it's shocking! lol... yet my favourite gifts from my husband and kids have been songs, poems, jewellery and pictures they have created for me from the heart and cost very little to no money.
Please do not put gifts you cannot afford on credit cards- I am confident that most people would feel awful knowing they were given something that wasn't even payed for yet. For some giving gifts at Christmas becomes almost mechanical,a chore or even a feeling of obligation....if this happens, it is worth stepping aside for a few moments to consider why exactly you give gifts at Christmas. It shouldn't be a stressful and miserable thing.
The art of giving is really knowing the love language of your loved one and giving based on that. Happy hunting and creating!

It's just past the middle of October and up until a few days ago both Vince and I were under the belief that Malachi's social skills and behaviour had improved from last year. We had recently talked about how he seems to have matured and we were happy that all our hard work, discipline and advocating for his needs had payed off.... BUT I finally got a long message on my answering machine a couple days ago from Malachi's SK teacher saying that he had been pushing and hitting increasingly and that he is incredibly smart but is almost entirely lacking in social skills and seemingly is unaware of how to act appropriately with his peers. I was deeply disappointed when I heard the message but I booked a meeting with Malachi's teacher this coming Monday. I thought we'll beat this and find out what his triggers are and how we can help Malachi to get past this. Then today I dropped Malachi off at speech and took the teacher aside to ask if she was experiencing any behaviour or social issues and she immediately responded yes! She went on to tell me about some things that were happening and my heart sunk entirely! I got in the van and cried. Of course I did what was natural, I started blaming myself- trying to figure out where I have gone wrong. Vince came home today and told me that Malachi's teacher had called him on his cell phone- she mentioned that they had concerns from a couple parents and even the bus driver is having issues with him. She said things had gotten worse since she last talked to me a couple days ago. We are exhausted with everything we are doing to advocate for his needs, for his speech therapy and finding solutions.
This is just the short version about what is on my mind today and what I am dealing with. I am going to sit in and observe Malachi in the classroom tomorrow and probably a few days next week to get a glimpse of what is going on with him.

Often we think of marriage as a romantic fantasy where we will live happily ever after and life will be easy all because we are in loooovvvveee.....*smiling and batting eyes* :-) Well if your bubble hasn't burst yet- let me be the one to burst it for you! lol

Vince and I are coming up to our 11th year of marriage this November, so we aren't newly weds but we aren't veterans either in this adventure called marriage, we know that we haven't arrived :-) Having said this, I do believe this is an area where we are ahead of our time- I'm not saying everything is perfect but that we understand the marriage covenant and we understood early on that love isn't based on feelings but it is a choice. We married very young- we were both 21 but we knew we were best friends no matter what. We became best friends BEFORE we started dating and I believe that was vital to the strength of our relationship. I'll share a few other reasons why I believe our marriage is still going strong.

1) God is the head of our marriage- "By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; and by knowledge the rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures." (Proverbs 24:3-4)

2) We never go to bed angry- we work through our problems with intentionality and determination and perseverance- confront them head on! Divorce is not an option!

3) We forgive each other- it is human nature to make mistakes and there will be many times when we need to forgive- forgiveness is ACTIVE! it will leave you with peace and joy in your marriage life

4) Communicate!! we talk clearly and listen well, it results in knowing and being known
Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

5) LOVE!! -in our society love is so fleeting, the word has been warped and greatly misused over time- but the true meaning of love encompasses so many things!
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love Never Fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

6) sexual intimacy- let me just say we are healthy in this area :-) but let me say this;
Pornography- the devil comes to kill, steal and destroy your marriage in the form of seduction. This is one of the most insidious attacks upon the sanctity of marriage. I don't believe it strengthens marriages but destroys it through perversion- your spouse then becomes not good enough. That isn't love. (I have tons more to say on this subject but I'll digress....)

7)FUN! Without it comes boredom- make it happen! I love spending time with Vince :-)

I have lots more to share but I'll leave it here for today :-)

What is the strongest area of your marriage??

So before becoming a baby machine and spending the last 8 1/2 years as a stay at home mother, I was a personal fitness trainer. Everyone has something that they have the potential to be incredible at doing- and personal training/fitness is that for me- I call it "in my zone". It is the one area that I was the professional and a leader in the making. I led the learn to run clinic and developed and implemented personal fitness programming for women- it was very fullfilling. Children change everything don't they? Once I had Kayla- I quickly realized I wanted to be at home with her full time. So I gave up my career for a season. Along came Malachi and then Colin and here I am.... after 3 pregnancies and quite a few years later and I am 55 Ibs heavier
and very much out of shape. All my certifications are null- you have to keep them up on a yearly basis to maintain your credentials. So it may seem depressing at times when I think about it, one thing I do know is my determination is rising up again. It's time to take care of myself and get back into shape. With my youngest going to kindergarten in September, I am actually going to have some free time on a daily basis and I am extremely excited to get back to the gym. I'd like to record my journey on here and maybe some pictures if I'm brave to show my progress. I'll try to be candid about my feelings because I think it's important to be aware of how emotions play a part- I'll blog about that can of worms sometime in the near future as well. Keep an eye out for my first workout related post in September :-) What do you consider is your zone?

13 everyday little happenings that colour me happy!



1) a hot shower finally at 3 in the afternoon

2) a clean pair of underwear!

3) first coffee of the day

4) a good teethbrushin'

5) smooth shaven legs and pits!!

6) homemade love letters/art from my kids (with a kid like Kayla, I get something almost everyday <3)

7) trimmed toenails and fingernails

8) sitting on the back porch soaking up the sunshine

9) smooches and bear hugs from my boys!

10) reading and cuddling with all 3 of my kiddoes for bedtime

11) smell of fresh clean laundry (I use shaklee detergent and it smells sooooo good!)

12) fruit/yogurt/granola parfait for breakfast

13) last but not least- a phone call or mail from family and friends (few and far between!)

Hey everyone, this will be my first time participating in the Ultimate Blog Party!! It is being put on by the lovely ladies at 5 Minutes for Mom. My friends at Shasher's Life and Mom's Musings talked about it so much, that I wanted to join in!!

I'll be serving chocolate and strawberry dacquiri's! Cheers!

Tidbits about me.....

-Love sports and outdoors- running, swimming, biking, white water kayaking and many more :-)

-I am a stay at home mom, so blogging is like a lifeline!! lol

-a serious chocolate addict. I've thought about giving up chocolate, but I'm not a quitter.

-don't consider myself to be a crafty women- but I do enjoy cardmaking and scrapbooking, as well I am am quite the shutterbug

-I am highly relational, hence the blog (and facebook too!)

- actually considering homeschooling- something I said I'd "never" do!

-happily married to my best friend, Vince, for 10 years! and we've been blessed with 3 beautiful children- Kayla (earth) 8, Malachi (fire) 5 and Colin (water) 3

-all about living an organic and chemical free lifestyle

My Zone -I have a passion to empower women to love their bodies through all the stages (mind and body)- I am a personal trainer- I've just been on a looooooooong vacation (9 years!)

I'm looking forward to meeting all sorts of new bloggers!!

There are lots of prizes and here are a few of my choices

USC#13 $100 gift certificate to Kay Jewellers by

USC#17 $200 apple gift certificate (iphone)

USC#48 $25 gift certifciate (just jewellery by Jessica)

USC#10 "lilac" pendant

Anyone who knows me well, knows I love all things natural... after all I am the poster girl for barefoot and pregnant :-) My latest interest is in all natural body care products. A few months ago, I was visiting St Jacobs and stumbled upon the Olivier Soapery in St Jacobs (www.oliviersoaps.com) I was immediately drawn in by all the delicious smells and pretty impressed that they actually make a soap that smells like chocolate! Their soaps are olive oil based (rich in vitamins and minerals) and you can actually eat them!! I don't recommend it but they are completely chemical free and safe. Their philosophy is simple- if you can't ingest it, you shouldn't be putting it on your skin. I couldn't agree more- skin is the largest organ in the human body and skin cells are quite permeable, which means substances can seep through easily into the bloodstream. Think about it- scientists designed the nicotine patch because they learned that the skin would absorb it right through the skin to the core of the body. When you use products that contain chemicals in them, your body eventually begins to store the toxins in your body because it can't break them down and that is when illnesses start occuring. Don't agree with me?- check out what is in your shampoos and cleaning products- then do some research to see if the ingredients contain cancer causing carcinogens- let me know what you find!

Adoption is a very big part of my life as well as Vince's. I was legally adopted when I was just over one years old and Vince gave up his first daughter, Alyssa, for adoption when he was just 17 years old. Yes, we come from very different sides of the adoption experience but I think it has really helped to open both of our eyes. I think it has already been about 5 years since I discovered my birth family (met most of them about 4 years ago)and Vince was able to share in the experience and emotions with me in a way that no one else could. We have 3 children of our own right now who are 8,5 and 3 and they keep us hopping! I knew after my third caesarean section delivery that I didn't want to do that again, so I had my tubes tied during Colin's c-section. I was easily able to make that decision because I knew that adoption was an option. I don't know if it is because my last child is off to JK in September but my desire to adopt is getting much stronger... unfortunately Vince doesn't feel the same at this point in our lives... so I am continuing to pray that his heart will change. I would never push him into something like this, I want his heart on fire for it 100%. So for the time being, I'll continue to pray and focus on my 3 beautiful children that God has already entrusted me with. I've had a few people ask me why I wouldn't be happy with 3- my answer to that is simple, it has nothing to do with me not being happy, it has everything to do with my desire to place a lonely child into a loving family and I know that I (we) can give that and more! It is a gigantic sized decision as most children who need to be adopted have special needs visible or invisible that need to be taken care of over and above the basic needs of every child. Since we have 3 children already in our family, I would want all of them to be ALL IN on the decision as well and old enough to understand it. Someday I'll post my whole adoption story but for now here is a snapshot of me in August of 1979 at 9 1/2 months old. At this point I am not adopted yet, I was fostered for a few months by my adoptive parents first.

I was able to spoil Kayla a little bit this week with a new dress and a haircut and yes, even flipflops!!

I have discovered a love for photography since I've had children and I can't wait to register for a digital SLR photography course at Conestoga just for recreational purposes (hoping for September- cross my fingers).... better start saving for that canon rebel I want!

Here are a couple links to my favourite photographer's blogs

I love Kelly's approach because it is so clear, bold and bright! Her style is contemporary with a twist- she doesn't just do expected posing.

www.kellymacdonaldphoto.blogspot.com


I love Trish's photography because it is just amazing! She has done some work for us and exceeded our expectations both times. She is award winning and I think you'll see why!

http:/customconcept.ca/blog

I for one am a much better writer than I am speaker- no contest! I need time to internalize what people say to me and more importantly I need to make sure I've heard properly before I respond. So "quick thinker" definetely isn't on my list of strengths- which doesn't mean I am not smart, it just means my thought process needs time :-) I have a mild bilateral hearing loss- which means both ears are affected and a loss of around 26 to 45 decibels. It also means that my speech and language development was affected as a child and may be on a small level even now.
My husband even told me I write better than I speak :-) Of course I do- ever heard of the delete button? LOL It is also much easier for me to express my thoughts on paper because I have time to organize and articulate my thoughts. Anything that involves spontaneity (debating or impromptu) is more difficult for me.

Humourous aspects of a hearing loss

You find you don’t hear what you used to pretend you didn’t hear.

Your friends will trust you with a secret. But, you probably didn’t hear it in the first place.

People appreciate that they don’t have to talk about you behind your back; as long as they keep smiling while they face you.

You can't hear your partner snoring anymore.

If your home is under the flight path of a major airport




So how about you? What are you better at, writing or speaking?

THIRTEEN AMAZING REASONS TO HAVE CHILDREN!

1)The experience of delivering a new life to the world is exhilirating. If you are afraid of the pain in childbirth, there is this lovely thing called an epidural!

2)The world doesn't revolve around me and my desires- having children teaches you to recognize and nuture the needs in someone outside yourself.

3)You get to experience the innocence of being a child again- reading your favourite books, watching favourite movies, ice skating, tobaggoning..... fun!

4)baby feet! what is cuter than that!

5)there is nothing more desirable than the father of your children- you will fall in love with him all over again.

6)children will ignite a love on the inside of you that you couldn't imagine existed

7)ever watch a baby sleep? they are angels fresh from God

8)children will inspire you to be a better person- they will help soften your hard edges

9)spontaneous laugh attacks- comical relief when life gets to serious!

10)learn patience and the art of negotiation and persuasion LOL

11)unconditional love and lots of hugs and kisses- your kids see the best in you

12)your kids are not only a reflection of you, but they make you examine who you are and what you say and do

13)create family- fulfilling, rewarding and a little bit of heaven on earth


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others’ comments. It’s easy, and fun!


http://thursday-13.com/