Fire, Earth and Water

I just posted this on an adhd support group that I am in and thought I would share it here too and maybe it could help someone out. I was the person against ADHD medication too. But my eyes were open by professionals and scientific facts after gaining more knowledge about adhd and the brain. As well when you actually live with it, you learn the most.
Oh and if you are one of these person who thinks ADHD isn't real then I'll kindly ask you to step off now. I don't have time or patience for sheer ignorance anymore.
People forget how far modern medicine has come and what it has achieved. We sure are thankfful for antibiotics when we have infections and sickness that our bodies can't fight off aren't we? ADHD meds specifically have a bad rap. I am holistic minded and fought the meds for years. A pediatrician finally explained how it is supposed to work where I understood it. He said the medication speeds up the frontal lobe of the brain so that it is in sync with the rest of the brain. He said when you have epilepsy you take medicine. When you have a heart condition you take medicine. When you have difficulty seeing you wear corrective lenses. When you have true ADHD you take medicine. He suggested that we weigh the pros and cons of the medication. So we did and we decided that helping him with his behaviours and being able to think ahead as well as social skills to actually make friends was highly important, so I gave the medication a shot. It worked within a day or two! The improvements for him in school and socially have improved by about 80%. Yes there are small side effects such as depressed appetite and mornings and nights are the most difficult times of the day. Without the medication he wouldn't be able to excel in school nor make friendships which is vital for a childs self esteem. His health is important as well and we have seen very little side effects. It's worth it! Take note though that sometimes it takes trying a few different kinds before finding one that works, much like finding the right corrective lens. Do we hope for a natural way to treat it that is effective? Absolutely, we are always researching. Do we focus on healthy nutrition? Of course, not only is it nourishing his brain and body but it helps manage symptoms. There are many factors in managing adhd and medication is an important part of that equation.

My Opa and Oma VanderVecht were the kind of grandparents that enriched the lives of every one of their grandchildren. They were steadfast, welcoming and loved without conditions. I will always cherish the best gift they have given me- the gift of quality time. Somehow, they seemed to find time for every one of their 26 (I think) grandchildren. I will always cherish the many, many sleepovers at their house, even into teenage hood. I loved their small bedroom at the end of their hallway, even though they had 2 other larger sized bedrooms. I loved spending time in Opa's woodshop or going to the market with Oma. I loved sitting at their table for meals with fond memories of gouda cheese and dutch chocolate sprinkles :-) Oma's soups often looked gross (pea soup for example) but once I tasted them, I realized they were super yummy. I loved spending time with Opa in his backyard with all his birds or with Oma in her gardens. I will miss Oma's hugs that she gave me every single time I entered her door... Oma and Opa always had an open door policy. I will miss Opa's conversations about religion and boys.... he loved to tease :-P He did have a lot of wisdom to impart and I will also miss his "strong" hugs. Opa had a great sense of humour, I will miss his big grin. I will miss watching Oma knit at the speed of light- she even had the patience to teach me how to knit! My Opa was even brave enough to help teach me how to drive.... that stopped short the day I turned a corner in his van at 40 km per hour and Oma, who was sitting in the middle seat, went flying backwards! It wasn't my fault the bench wasn't attached to the floor properly :-P I may have gotten scolded for that! haha! I will forever have fond memories of family gatherings and playing in the front veranda which was a place set apart just for the grandchildren. Even my own kids had a few opportunities to play in there with all the same toys that brought us so much joy. Opa and Oma created a home that screamed "grandchildren welcome here!". To me, they were pillars of love and faith. They have left an incredible legacy and I can only hope to be the caliber of grandparents they were to many of us.



"Grandparents are a family's greatest treasure, the founders of a loving legacy, The greatest storytellers, the keepers of traditions that linger on in cherished memory. Grandparents are the family's strong foundation. Their very special love sets them apart. Through happiness and sorrow, through their special love and caring, grandparents keep a family close at heart." ~author unknown

Vince wrote and sang this to me for 30th bday a few years ago.... it was a little bit of light and love while we were going through some real crappy times and on top of that my Opa died that day..



"Two people standing there, hopes and dreams in their eyes
Oh so young, decisions made....we drew the line
Many said the road is hard, "you'll never make it" what a lie
Hand in hand we journey on...Best Friends.

I am yours....You are mine
I am yours....You are mine

Two lovers Journey on, many cares have worn in time
All the forks in the road...do we take the left or the right?
It doesn't matter 'cause your always there...always standing at my side
Whatever trials they may come...Best Friends.

I am yours....You are mine
I am yours....You are mine

I just needed you to know, this is how my heart cries out
You're the only other one, I choose to stand beside
And if you ever doubt my love, in a time of darkness
At one call I'm there for you

I am yours....You are mine
I am yours....You are mine"

HAPPY 8th BIRTHDAY to my Malachi!!!
I am still in disbelief that my first born son is already 8, even if he doesn't look it.... sorry Malachi you got your mommas short genes! I am so in love with this boy and increasingly proud of him. This year has been another great year in school, his teacher has reported that his social skills have increased tremendously since september and that everyone in the class loves him (this is the first time hearing that!). She said he has proved to be an exciting catalyst for learning and academically he is thriving. To hear such positive things for the second year in a row makes this mommas heart smile. We have seen him really mature at home and his sweet side is growing more and more. He wants to help ALOT more! He loves helping empty the grocery bags, loves to bake and shows initiative (ex making his brother breakfast) :-) His favourite thing to do is still games- board games, video games, sports games.... games, games, games!! His favourite toy is still his starwars lego sets, he loves to build. Strong-willed, high energy, loyal, thoughtful, perceptive, tenacious, bizarre sense of humour, perfectionist, independent, competitive, determined are just a few words the describe Malachi. He has a colourful personality and brings great joy and humour to our family. Love you Kai! xoxo

I came across this and really liked it, so I personalized it into a vision for my family and posted it on a wall in my home for the reminders I know we will all need from time to time.


Our Grace-Based Home

"See to it that no one misses the Grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many" Hebrews 12:15

1) freedom to be different

2) freedom to be vunerable (no matter what we will listen and honor each others feelings)

3) freedom to be candid (we can talk, question, express, share without negative backlash)

4) freedom to make mistakes (no matter what you do, we will never look down on each other and never turn our backs on one another)

Shortly after the hustle and bustle of Christmas and New Years, we celebrate 2 birthdays in our family back to back (after Malachi was born, I informed Vince he was officially cut off for all the months of April). On Friday Malachi is turning 7 years old and on Saturday Kayla is celebrating her first decade/double digits....WOWZERS!! I still can't believe she is turning 10!! We are celebrating as a family tomorrow night making homemade pizzas and then Vince and I will be their servers... any ideas for a restaurant name? We will of course enjoy cake and presents... and maybe a movie night or some sledding depending on if we have enough snow :-) I usually postpone their friend birthday parties until the end of January for obvious reasons.
Kayla will be going to The Art Studios in Waterloo with a bunch of giggly girls and make some kind of clay art, she has been talking about it for months!.
This has been a significant year for Malachi since he has developed some great friendships, so we are going to celebrate... just haven't decided what we are doing just yet. Not only that but the kids are going to go on a mini vacation with their cousins to an indoor waterpark in about a week... talk about a pretty awesome month for them!!

Talking about my hearing loss is probably one of my least favourite topics to discuss and anyone else who has a hearing loss probably feels the same way but I feel it is time to help others understand what it is like to be me. It was grade 3 when I was diagnosed with a 25% mild bilateral hearing loss,... that explained why I was getting failing marks in school and probably some lack in social development. That is like missing one out of every four words and that makes for some twisted sentences! Lol I do remember speech therapy with a Mr Fox- it was usually cue cards and fun games....I also didnt mind all the hearing tests and I got to miss school :)
I started having to wear around the ear hearing aids for grade 4, I was mortified to say the least. When you are the only kid in your school with a hearing loss and at a new school too- it sucks. I envied other kids, running around the playground and screaming with reckless abandon, completely oblivious to what they had.
I hated my hearing aids so much I believe I purposely sabotaged a couple pairs (aka sticking them in front of the school bus wheels just before hopping on). I didn't like how they felt or how they made my ears stick out. I used to go to the "hear together" conferences in London every year and I really felt out of place because most kids there had much worse hearing losses then I did and they all talked like they had a bunch of teeth all over the roof of their mouth. I didn't connect well with anyone (far as I remember) because I just felt like I could hear just fine. I always had a difficult time just accepting it, it took years before I began to advocate for my needs on my own. I call a mild hearing loss an invisible disability because people don't see it when they look at me even if they've been told, they often forget. I am sure some think I am rude or pushy because I often interrupt conversations but it is just because I don't hear that someone else is talking... I try to read body language and lips but that isn't always successful. I keep a closer reign on my children then most parents probably do but think about what the first sense that we use to gage whether our kids are in trouble? HEARING... so because I can't always hear, and that can be worse depending on the environment, I keep my kids close. I have a much harder time hearing someone who is soft spoken, in fact I pretty much can't hear them at all if I am not aware they are speaking to me. Same with someone who speaks with little voice inflection. Yelling at me is unnecessary, usually I need people to speak with more clarity then anything, or go to a quieter area. My biggest pet peeve has to be when people accuse me of not listening to them- HELLO?!!! and no I don't have selective hearing (well mostly bhahaaha) but seriously- that joke is old. The biggest word of advice for people when they would like to speak to me, is make sure you have my attention and that means I am looking at you :-) The picture above shows how far technology has come and the kind of aid I want to buy next... they run thousands of dollars!